a Cheap Holiday

Cheap Holiday

Welcome to a cheap holiday in my life. At least you get to go home at the end of the day!

Sunday, January 20, 2002

One of my plans for 2002 was to do something I'd never done before. Trying new things keeps us fresh and filled with something approaching child-like wonder, I feel. Well, that's what I told myself when I allowed a guy to email a photo of his penis. That was certainly something I'd never done before!

I had received a response to my online personal ad from a young man whose own ad was a bit on the priapic side. Typically, I don't respond to men who feel their number one selling point is their cock. My immediate response is one of "well, is that all you have to offer?" At least the photo was of his face! However, he insisted on his subsequent responses that he was an MBA student and had interests beyond the sexual (though frankly, it is unusual to find 29-year old men who claim to enjoy the symphony and opera). So against my routine judgement, I gave him my instant messenger ID. This is actually a fairly big deal with me, as I have numerous friends I chat with online and would rather not dilute my time from them with just anyone. The great thing about instant messenger is that if you start feeling wonky about anything, you can always use the BLOCK feature.

Much to my chagrin, my hope that this young man would open up in a more intelligent way was not realized on instant messenger. Immediately, he begins typing ad nauseum about his endowment and his prowess and the fact that he's sitting naked at the computer. Of course, he's hoping that he can draw me out enough during the chat to provide him with some juicy cyber-yank material. In principle, this does not tweak me. Given that the ultra-conservative political right would give its eyeteeth to police your private thoughts, I strongly believe that consenting adults should have the responsibility and control over what occurs between them.

At one point, he apparently hoped to capture my attention by emailing me a photo of his fleshy pride and joy. This was the "something I had never done before" - review a digital image of a man's dick before I had even met him. Now, one must always take such photos with a grain of salt, but if this image wasn't Photoshopped with the Stretch filter, then this man was indeed packing a weapon between his legs. I'm not a 100% size queen - I don't specifically go hunting for men with massize cocks - but it was impressive! (Kinda wished I'd saved that JPG now.)

Ultimately though, I found the whole exchange to be rather tedious and boring. If there was a way to make titillation feel mundane, this young man had achieved it. I don't have any moral opposition to fucktoys, but fucktoys without wit, subtlety, or philosophy are just wearisome. So, I convinced the
gentleman to feel that meeting me would be a waste of his time. I informed him that "he would most likely find me to be rather dull."

Translation: ""I'm not easy, and I won't put out immediately, just because you say you're hung like John Holmes."

Ah well. Onward and upward!


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